


On how to properly court an ill-tempered assassin

by DearCat



Series: Tumblr Archive [28]
Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: BAMF Tsuna, Dating, Everyone Is Gay, M/M, Mafia seduction, Smug Reborn, Smut, TY, Xanxus would like his bf to stop teasing, timoteo doesn't have enough alcohol for this shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:55:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24511153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DearCat/pseuds/DearCat
Summary: Or Tsuna graduates Mafia Seduction with perfect scores. Xanxus never saw it coming.
Relationships: Sawada Tsunayoshi/Xanxus
Series: Tumblr Archive [28]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1533116
Comments: 42
Kudos: 913
Collections: Shady Pure Crack (no crossovers)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This one, coincidentally, is getting updated in Tumblr this Thursday.  
> it has 4 new drabbles, coming weekly since this week.
> 
> Enjoy!

The first time it happens, Xanxus is both understandably confused and slightly thrilled. If only for the gifts. They are, after all, right up his alley. New ammunition, experimental but very promising. The roses filling the rest of his office are a little more confusing but he's willing to let matters be for now. He has new ammunition to try.

Xanxus tries them pretty much as soon as he opens the first box, no need for the shooting range when he can blow some walls up and then bill the old man for repairs. Fuck that bastard. 

He assumes the roses are Tsunayoshi's idea of being cheeky or some crazy Reborn-inspired scheme. Xanxus would blow the little shit up for it if it wasn't for how much he actually enjoys his new ammo. 

Except that then comes the next gift and that one is very, very clear in its intentions. Belphegor is the most excited among them and Xanxus is quick to discover why. There are white and red roses all over his office, the white ones floating on red liquid Belphegor won't stop sticking his fingers into.

Blood, Xanxus realizes, as he grabs for the card on top of what looks like very expensive chocolate. Is this a joke? A death threat? Has that shitty brat lost his mind? "To compliment your eyes," the card states, signed with the Decimo's elegant script. 

What? Xanxus just stops and stares, reading the little card a couple of times more just to make sure he's not seeing things. He's not. 

"Boss!" Lussuria exclaims, far too delighted for this bizarre turn of events. "Look at this!" 

A box is pushed in his face and Xanxus scowls. "Trash! Did you open my gift?!" He doesn't  _ want _ it but it's a matter of principle. Lussuria doesn't back off, though, so Xanxus chances a look and chokes because there, sitting cradled among fabric, is the prosthetic arm of Coyote Nougat. 

"What the fuck?" He murmurs, a little shell-shocked, reluctantly delighted. Fuck, ok. So maybe Xanxus is not as opposed to this as he thought he was. 

Xanxus refuses to admit that he actually looks forward to the third gift. They're just good gifts, ok? And the chocolate compliments his wine nicely, that's all. As it turns out, the third gift doesn't fit in his office. Or not all of it does, at least. His office gets filled with white roses, all of them floating in red liquid and Xanxus idly wonder who is his gift that day.

The little card resting on top of his new batch of chocolate reads "look out your balcony. ♡" 

A little more of a cliche Xanxus thinks and is slightly disappointed until he reaches his balcony and discovers the actual mountain of bodies and prisoners being unloaded into his backyard. This time Xanxus throws his head back and laughs. 

Oh fuck,  _ fine _ . 

"Hey, shitty shark! Get me Lussuria!" After all, if somebody knows what to do with this courting thing, it's the romance obsessed Sun. Xanxus has about zero experience with this kind of thing. Nobody has bothered to try it on him before. Admittedly, had anybody went about it before this he would have shot them dead. But he likes Sawada's style. 

As it turns out, his only job at this point in time is to sit back and allow himself to be pampered, maybe send a couple of flirtatious looks the Decimo's way. Xanxus is fine with that too, he's not about to complain about being pampered and the flirtatious looks earn him flirty little smiles and some lingering touches in return. 

Touches that have something hot and unyielding waking up inside of him. 

If Sawada doesn't push things along, Xanxus might have to steal a kiss just to make a point.

* * *

The look of startled denial on the old man’s face when Timoteo finally realizes what has his Heir hunting down the Varia’s enemies makes Xanxus day, even if it means that he gets summoned to the asshole’s office. At least he’s not alone, Reborn in all his recently teenage-looking glory sits beside him.

“Xanxus, Reborn,” the old man starts, looking already twitchy. Good, serves the old fuck right. “This needs to stop.”

“Of course not,” Reborn replies, all smooth class, “this is but the beginning, no student of mine would cut a proper courting short.” Implying that is that it’s Reborn himself who taught Sawada all about romance. Xanxus can’t say he’s surprised, number one hitman or not, nobody is as smooth as Reborn. 

The Varia Commander just shrugs, “I’d think you’d want your son to be properly wooed, old man.” He doesn’t particularly hide the bitterness but nobody mentions that. 

The old man starts to protest before Reborn cuts him off. “Coyote...” 

“Made a lovely gift if I say so myself,” Reborn smirks and damn but the cocky bastard actually looks proud of himself. Which fair, it was an awesome gift. 

Not that Xanxus says anything along those lines. Some of his approval must show in his face, however, because Reborn's smugness triples and Timoteo whimpers. "I need more alcohol for this," the old man murmurs, unfocused wide eyes almost hidden behind his hands. "So much more alcohol." 

"Don't be dramatic, Timo," Reborn waves a hand dismissively. "It's romance, we're Italian. It's in our blood." 

Timoteo whimpers again, face falling against his desk with a thud. "Go. Just… go." 

Xanxus smiles sadistically and very pointedly sends a smouldering look Tsunayoshi's way when they cross paths right outside the old man's office. It gets him a soft almost there caress on the inside of his wrist and a murmur of his name. It really shouldn't sound so intimate. It's hot as fuck. 

A kiss, Xanxus is really going to steal a kiss if the brat doesn't move things along. He kind of wants to see just how much tongue it'll take to make Tsunayoshi lose all that smooth seduction he has going for him now. 


	2. From [Second date] to [Movie Night]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the smut!
> 
> My goal today is to go out to this old park that is apparently close to my apartment. Worry not, I'll use a mask.

###  [[Second Date]](https://dearcat1.tumblr.com/post/620016256530219008/second-date)

By the time the next big gift comes along, Xanxus has gotten used to arriving every morning to find his office full of flowers floating on the blood of his enemies, new ammo for him to try, chocolate and a little card complimenting something Tsunayoshi finds especially appealing in Xanxus. Sometimes he even gets good alcohol.

And if Xanxus takes to wearing clothes that highlight his eyes, that’s nobody’s business but his own. 

The next gift takes the cake. The first thing Xanxus notices is the pickaxe lying innocently on the base of his usual flower arrangement, the second is the piles of files Squalo is frantically going over and the third is his boxed gift. Iemitsu’s head, cleanly cut off. Shit, Xanxus thinks, almost absently reaching for his little note. 

A kiss, he’s definitely stealing one. More than one, even.

“VOI! Shitty boss!” Squalo screams, shoving the files in Xanxus’ face. 

Spies’ personnel profiles and reports, Xanxus realizes. All of that blonde trash’s shitty spies in the Varia, handed over to him on a silver platter. Xanxus turns the little note over and reads the address and the date. Good, Xanxus can do dinner. Xanxus can do more than just dinner, actually. 

Not that the little shit lets him. Tsunayoshi is a perfect gentleman all through dinner and escorts Xanxus all the way to the door back at the Varia Castle when they return. Tsunayoshi raises their joined hands and kisses the inside of Xanxus’ wrist, sending him a heated look. “Next week?”

Xanxus will never admit how much that simple action stole the breath out of his lungs. He just nods instead, lips parting and half expectant for a kiss that lands on his cheek instead. 

A kiss, he’s going to steal one of those next time. A proper one. 

Except that Tsunayoshi can’t be tempted, it seems. The baby-boss has grown well, he’s still small, still more compact to Xanxus’ bulk. But there’s elegance, power and confidence surrounding him now. All the easy bearing of a king. Italy has been good for him. And he handles Xanxus with an ease the Wrath knows wouldn’t have been possible all those years ago. 

It’s frustrating because he wants that kiss, damnit. And all he gets are heated glances, lips on his cheek and murmured suggestions that have him uncomfortably hard in his pants. It’s also hot as fuck, Xanxus doesn’t necessarily want it to stop, he just wants the follow-up. He deserves that kiss, one with teeth and tongue. 

“Not until the third date,” Tsunayoshi admonishes, kiss just shy of the corner of Xanxus’ mouth. Fuck it all but they haven’t even gotten to the second one, they’re busy men and some upstarts have gotten cocky. 

And Xanxus _wants_. 

The second date is nothing short of torture. Does he, at some point, allow himself to be hand-fed? There’s no evidence and Xanxus will not tell a soul. The way Tsunayoshi looks at him like he wants to eat him whole has Xanxus on a hair-trigger, those fingers lingering on his lips are no help at all. 

When the third date comes, he’s ready. (No, he’s not. But he doesn’t know that until later.) He suffers the touches, suffers the heated looks. It’s fine, Xanxus will get his reward. He was promised relief on the third date and he has all the intention of dragging Tsunayoshi to his room after this.

It’s not meant to be, though. Oh, Xanxus gets his kiss and it’s all Xanxus was hoping and more. He gets crowded against the door, Tsunayoshi keeping him in place with a hand on his hip and the other on his cheek. All wet heaven with teeth and tongue sending heat down his spine and making Xanxus’ mind spin. 

And that’s all he gets. Don’t get Xanxus wrong, that’s plenty and more than enough to make him weak at the knees. He just had been hoping for more. And the kisses do. not. help. They don’t. Not that Xanxus is about to deny Tsunayoshi kisses, there’s something hot as fuck about the Decimo stealing kisses after meetings, under the trees in the garden, after dates.

###  [[The Talk]](https://dearcat1.tumblr.com/post/620650418195906560/the-talk)

Xanxus is addicted to those kisses, he’s just also as sexually frustrated as it gets and he’s been good too. He deserves this reward, damnit. 

Squalo must see it in his face because he ambushes Xanxus in his office before he can get away to ready himself for another date. “Alright, shitty boss,” the shark snaps, slamming some pamphlets on Xanxus’ desk. “I’m going to explain how to take cock without fucking yourself up, so listen up." 

That stops Xanxus short for long enough that Reborn closes the door behind himself before Xanxus reaches for his guns. He’s got a fucking shark to kill. "What the fuck, trash! Who the fuck even said I’d be taking it, you shitty shark!”

The absolute deadpan look Squalo sends him is ignored simply because Xanxus has better things to do. For example, throwing his empty booze bottle to the shitty shark’s head. “VOI! Just sit the fuck down and let me give you The Talk, you shitty boss!" 

Very pointedly not sitting down, Xanxus reaches for more alcohol. With Reborn here, he’s getting that talk whether he wants to or not. "How do you even know how to take cock, trash?”

Reborn smiles at that, all mocking edge and dark amusement. “You do realize your swordsman limps after every playdate with my former student, don’t you?" 

Fuck everything.

Xanxus throws himself back into his throne, gulping down his whisky. Fuck that shark, that’s not fair. "They’re both your students,” he complains, “how come he’s getting some?" 

Reborn is laughing at him, Xanxus knows. Squalo at least has the decency to look sympathetic. Not Reborn, though, that bastard thrives in chaos and the misery of others. "Tsuna is a bit more… on the old-fashioned side. In this, at least." 

"Meaning?” Xanxus demands as he grudgingly drags the informative pamphlets closer to himself.

“Meaning,” Reborn smiles like butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth, “that you’re not getting any for a long while." 

Didn’t Xanxus say so before? Fuck everything. 

Dino hearing of the whole debacle and showing up at Xanxus’ office with a box of training plugs and lube is just the cherry on top. Xanxus is frustrated, damn it all. He’s got a perfect boyfriend. Gorgeous and deadly and entirely willing to make the world bleed for Xanxus, one that kisses Xanxus until he’s brain dead. And Xanxus would like some more to go along with it, thank you.

At this point, he’d settle for a handjob.

###  [[Self-care]](https://dearcat1.tumblr.com/post/621284714573086720/self-care)

So Xanxus decides to play dirty. Not one of his best ideas to date. Of course, Xanxus doesn’t do anything without first doing his research, so he reads the damn pamphlets, checks his notes and opens Dino’s “generous” gift. The box has three training plugs and a bullet vibe and Xanxus refuses to admit just how red his cheeks burn when he takes a good look at them. 

Xanxus isn’t in any way new to sex, he just hasn’t ever been the one looking for it. People tend to throw themselves at him, Xanxus has his fun and moves on. He’s never been with a man before and he certainly has never been the one getting fucked. But there’s also want low in Xanxus’ belly when he takes in the silicone plugs. They’re black, topped with a Sky-orange stone that has a 27 engraved in it. 

Alright, he thinks, and reaches for the smaller one and the lube. 

He starts by making himself comfortable in his bed, he lays down above his blankets and squirts some lube in his hand. Wrapping his hand around his cock, he jacks himself off, slow and easy. Just enough to get him breathing faster, to get his libido up. He teases himself, finger occasionally rubbing the spongy head of his cock. Xanxus lets it build, teases himself until he’s so distracted by his own need to come that the finger he presses against his hole doesn’t make him self-conscious.

The sensation of his finger massaging the skin there is foreign and strange but not bad so Xanxus takes a deep breath and pushes the finger in slowly. It’s good, actually. Not mind-blowing but nice. The pressure is pleasurable and although the sensations are new, Xanxus doesn’t mind them as much as he feared he would. He fucks himself with it, other hand resuming its up and down movement on his cock. Xanxus’ breath hitches and he presses a second finger in without thinking about it. 

It makes him groan. There’s more pressure like that and it’s nice. He likes that, he decides, the pressure of being filled. 

So he stops jerking himself off, hand just holding himself as he concentrates on stretching himself open instead. He might have used too much lube because he’s dripping but Xanxus doesn’t care, he just reaches for the plug and presses it in carefully. He gets it almost half-way inside before he has to pause and breathe. 

Pulling it out a little, he starts fucking himself with it, just enjoying the sensations, teasing himself with the promise of fullness. By the time he’s managed to work the entire thing inside, he’s squirming with the need to come. So he takes a hold of his balls and massages them, the other hand going back to jerk him off even as he presses himself against the bed just to make himself feel the plug. 

That’s a mistake, the angle of the plug changes and it’s suddenly pressing right against something that makes Xanxus moan, high and needy, as he comes.

Fuck, he thinks, and reaches blindly for something to clean himself up with. This plan better work because if Tsunayoshi is as talented with his fingers as he’s with his tongue, Xanxus might just reach nirvana. Especially now that he knows he is going to enjoy being fucked.

###  [[Movie Night]](https://dearcat1.tumblr.com/post/621918906278346752/movie-night)

It takes a while for them to get another date. At least one of the elaborate ones that Tsunayoshi likes taking Xanxus on. So Xanxus doesn’t wait for one of those, he always gets a little overwhelmed in those, too. So that wouldn’t work.

No, he takes advantage of one of those lazy nights they’ve taken to spend together. Tsunayoshi watching some movie on the laptop while Xanxus drinks his wine and lays down for a nap, content to be used as a pillow. 

Except that this time, Xanxus isn’t about to nap. Not with the plug shifting inside him every time he moves.

He has a plan. 

They’ve been kissing for hours now, the movie ended a long time ago. The only noise in the room is their heavy breathing and the wet sounds of their lips fitting together. Tsunayoshi hums against him, busies himself sucking a mark on Xanxus’ neck and presses his knee right at the base of the plug. 

Xanxus groans, opening his legs a little to give his boyfriend better access and grabs a hold of Tsunayoshi’s hair. Bastard has to know the plug is there, he has been teasing Xanxus with it for a while now. 

The pressure against the plug leaves and Xanxus opens his eyes, ready to protest until he feels the curious fingers touching the base of the plug through his pyjama pants.

Tsunayoshi’s hand cups his cheek, gentle and possessive. “Let me see?”

Ignoring the blush trying to stain his cheeks, Xanxus shoves his pants down just enough to give his boyfriend a good look and tips his hips up. Tsunayoshi pets the 27 engraved in the amber stone and hisses, pulling the plug out just to see the width of it before pushing it back in. 

It makes Xanxus squirm and he takes the kiss Tsunayoshi presses on him gladly. 

“Tempting,” there’s an admonishing little nip to his lower lip. “Next date,” his boyfriend promises him. “I’ll have you in your bed,” Tsunayoshi ignores the needy little whine that escapes Xanxus. “After that, I’ll have you over my desk, over yours. Fucking everywhere, Xanxus. You shouldn’t tease me so.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it. 
> 
> Look, the world is burning down. I'm still processing. Please stay safe, take care of yourselves.
> 
> I've seen people saying to turn off the location on your phone so the cops can't use it to trace you. it'd do nothing for you, even if you leave it in aeroplane mode, your phone, every second that it's on is exchanging data with a signal tower. They can triangulate you pretty easily.
> 
> Use disposable phones instead.


End file.
